This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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