I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
