What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
