It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
