Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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