And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
