Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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