Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
