I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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