Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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