just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
