i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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