Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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