oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
