Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
