so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize