More tranny stories later!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
