Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
