Pants 0. Shit 1.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
