Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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