So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
