break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
