I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
