Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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