I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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