I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
