It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Are my feet made of real feet?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am naked and annoyed.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
