i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
