walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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