I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
