Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
