Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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