Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it was like eating out sand paper
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
