My nipple is on Facebook.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
