She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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