the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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