p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize