New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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