There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
