everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
