So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize