All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Randomize