Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
