So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
