soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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