Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Someone came in the potted fern
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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