Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You dont lie about slip and slides
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
