Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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