I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
