physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
