Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
