Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
