Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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