We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
