He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
