i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
