she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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