Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My life is pants optional.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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