you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
