I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
