You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
