I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
