Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
